"One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble..."
-Murray Head

Don't ask me what happened to the real Nicolas Cage, because I don't know where he is.

I don't know what happened to the man who left Las Vegas, or the man who made Donald Kaufman into such an endearing figment of imagination, or the man who stole diapers as he stole hearts. All I've seen of late is a face, a name, a profile, a character, the artist formerly known as Nic Cage, an entity on auto-pilot and damn near self-parody that knows what he looks like and sounds like and makes do with that alone.

In Bangkok Dangerous, a remake by the Pang Brothers of their own 1999 thriller, Cage-Or-Something-Like-Him plays an assassin, perhaps the most laconic one this side of Forest Whitaker in '99's Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai, and he is so reliably aloof throughout, so divorced from the proceedings that it almost becomes its own form of entertainment... which is certainly helpful once genuine entertainment refuses to show up to any other degree.

We've stayed away from all the Ghostbusters rumors these past couple days because last time we crossed this road, we were told nothing existed. Well, seems that's not at all true: Variety reports that Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky (The Office, Year One) have been asked to write a script for a Ghostbusters sequel (reported earlier today by Pajiba.com) that may or may not "pass the torch to a new group of ghost chasers." Funnily enough -- and even though he flat out told us he had nothing to do with it -- this is totally in line with those early rumors that "The Apatow Clan" would be involved in some capacity; namely Seth Rogen. When we asked him about it during the Pineapple Express junket, however, the man denied knowing a thing. Then again, he's an actor ... and he's paid pretty damn well to pretend.

The Apatow connection is also there in that these two writers are behind the Apatow-produced Year One, which, ahem, is being directed by Harold Ramis -- who, in case you forgot, played Dr. Egon Spengler in both Ghostbuster movies. No word from Columbia Pictures on the project, and Variety is simply throwing out all the same fluff that's been reported on other sites for months now. Could we see a reunion and a torch passing? Will the Apatow folks take over the Ghostbusters franchise? I'd certainly be down for it.

You?

(And now we shall continue to run circles around this monster until someone finally caves ...)

After the unpleasantness that was You, Me and Dupree, Anthony and Joe Russo are looking to explore a different kind of darkness -- the gritty and corrupt city of Ciudad del Este. According to Variety, they're set to direct Ciudad, which will be based on a graphic novel they're writing for Oni Press.

The story will follow a battered hostage negotiator, who travels to Paraguay and the above mentioned city to rescue a kidnap victim. They've been researching the story for years, traveling to crime-infested cities across the world to flesh it out more. Ciudad del Este is next on the travel agenda, a city labeled by the U.S. government as "a threat to national security" that shelters terrorists, drug runners, and all manner of scary people. So stay safe, you two.

The brothers are said to be aiming for a return to their indie roots with this one -- they were formerly behind Pieces, and the seedy George Clooney outing Welcome to Collinwood. (That's a bit of a lost film, isn't it? Weren't those the days when people were still screaming he should have stayed on ER? How things change.) I wish I could say more, but the graphic novel won't be out until 2009, and there's nary a preview on Oni's website. All we can do at this point is give them props for their research, wonder if George Clooney liked them enough to play the weary hostage negotiator, and make glib comparisons to Proof of Life or even Man on Fire.

Under no circumstances is Ji-woon Kim's The Good, the Bad, the Weird a great movie, but I found myself genuinely impressed with it. The pitch – "Korean comic spaghetti western" – sounded like the sort of ultra-hip, insubstantial, self-consciously campy Asian actioner I've grown tired of; I kept flashing back to Riyuhei Kitamura's much-hyped but totally useless Versus, an acquired taste I haven't acquired. I needn't have worried. Though Kim's western pastiche may be insubstantial, it's anything but a drag. It's masterfully directed, legitimately funny, and legitimately fun, thoroughly enjoyable even at an excessive 129 minutes.

Though you may think you're here to see how Kim (whom you may remember from his terrific horror entry A Tale of Two Sisters) plays with the western genre, you're really here for the action sequences. There are two spectacular ones: the rollicking train robbery that opens the film, and a later all-stops-out chase scene involving several gangs of bandits and the Japanese army. These aren't the sort of scenes that bring you to the edge of your seat, but rather the sort that put a steady, delighted grin on your face. Unapologetically goofy, absurdly attenuated, brilliantly paced, and backed by a rousing musical score, they alone make the film worth sitting through.

We all know that David Fincher is an uncompromising director (and why shouldn't he be? The guy is one of the best working today). But, even if you don't like the man, you have to admire someone who is truly willing to put his money where his mouth is. In an interview unearthed by The Playlist, Heavy Metal publisher (and Fincher's collaborator on the Metal reboot), Kevin Eastman, confirmed that the reason for the project's move from Paramount to Sony was not because of problems with the sex and violence (as earlier reported), but because of another film altogether. When Metal first jumped studios, there was speculation that Fincher was having trouble getting the green light because of Metal's risqué subject matter. But, it wasn't Metal they were fighting about, it was Fincher's upcoming fantasy tale, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

According to Eastman, "We developed it [Heavy Metal] for Paramount in January... And it was time for them to make a decision [about going forward with the project] and they were at odds with Fincher over another project, 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,' [because] they wanted him to reduce the running time... and so they said, 'Until you step up to do what we want you to do with Benjamin, we're not going to green light any other of [your] movies.' And David said, 'Fine, f**k you, I'm going to set up [Heavy Metal] somewhere else,' so we jumped over to Sony and set it up there." You can't help but wonder what Paramount was thinking? Maybe the likely answer is that they were not prepared for Fincher to call their bluff.

After the jump ... guess who's directing Heavy Metal???

Matthew Vaughn's Kick-Ass seems to be one of the projects of the moment -- either because it's a super slow news time or because Mark Millar has taken over the Internet. I suspect the latter.

When this movie was officially pushed into gear, much was made of the violence of Millar's book, and how Vaughn refused to tone it down for the film. Studios fled screaming from it. But according to Nicolas Cage, it's not going to be excessive. "When I said 'yes' to this movie, it was to a script," Cage told MTV. "Then I started seeing the comics which are pretty far out in terms of violence. But I think Matthew and the script have a different style to it. I'm not fond of gratuitous violence ... There will be some moments of action that will be violent, but there will be a sense of elegance to it. [Matthew Vaughn] doesn't want to get gratuitous with it. At least that's what Matthew has told me."

Now, perhaps this is all a matter of perspective -- what studios see as over-the-top and gratuitous, Vaughn and Cage don't. But on the snap judgment surface, it sounds as though Vaughn is watering down Millar's book, which is hard to believe when he was so dedicated to the blood and guts that he funded it himself. I want him to stick to his guns (no pun intended) and make the movie that shocked studio executives. My future katana-wielding daughter must be portrayed accurately, in all her foul-mouthed and blood drenched glory. (For the record, I trained her, not her father. As if I would trust such a delicate task to anyone else.)

Dark Knight Spoiler Warning ...

No more speculation, no more talk of ret-con and false funerals -- Harvey Dent is officially 100% dead. It comes straight from the mouth of Aaron Eckhart, who revealed his character's fate in no uncertain terms to ComingSoon.net "He is dead as a door nail. He ain't coming back baby!"

And lest you doubt that he knows the mind of Christopher Nolan, well, Eckhart asked him whether Two-Face would ever be coming back. "I asked Chris [Nolan] that question and he goes, "You're dead" before I could even get the question out of my mouth. 'Hey Chris, am I?' 'You're dead!' 'Alright, cool.'" There's no chance it will be rewritten or retconned, as he was never even contracted for a third film. "No, I'm not coming back. I think unfortunately, Heath [Ledger] was supposed to go on and that didn't work out. I'm nobody. I'm a cog. I have no say over this sort of stuff. I'm sure that there's so many other characters that they could whip together. I heard Angelina Jolie was going to be Catwoman or something like that. I thought that was a great idea. I'd like to be in that one."

Dent's death has now been confirmed via the novelization, the script, the actor, and the director. Though I would say that's as definitive as it gets, fanboys and girls across this great Internet refuse to accept it -- they just believe in Harvey Dent too much. But since we do live in a world where no comic character stays dead, where 299 Spartans can rise again, and Chev Chelios survives a fall from a helicopter, I guess you can hardly blame them.

Readers of this blog are well aware that Mr. Guillermo Del Toro (aka Mr. Awesome Genre Film) is about to spend the next several years helming a pair of Hobbit movies for producer Peter Jackson ... who is certainly no slouch in the action / horror / fantasy department. And we all know that Del Toro has long yearned to do an adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft's At the Mountains of Madness -- which he probably will be doing at Universal some time in the future.

Ah, but there are two words you'll hear a lot regarding Guillermo Del Toro: "Universal" and "future." More specifically, the filmmaker and the studio look to be teaming up for the next two decades! According to one doozy of a Variety article, Uni and Guille will be teaming up for (get this) new versions of Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde, and Slaughterhouse-Five*, as well as an adaptation of Dan Simmons' upcoming "alternate reality Charles Dickens" novel Drood! Oh, and he'll also be producing Hater with Mark Steven Johnson and Crimson Peak with Matthew Robbins!

This guy's like the Derek Jeter of genre directors! And frankly, it couldn't happen to a cooler moviemaker. I'll include a few choice quotes after the jump, but you should probably just peruse the whole article for yourself. It actually makes you want to look PAST The Hobbit so you can get a peek at (dear lord) Guillermo Del Toro's Frankenstein. I get goose bumps just thinking about it.

(* Gotta feel bad for Frank Darabont. He really wants to make this movie.)

Back in June we reported on a pair of upcoming films that deal with Greek Mythology in one way or another. One is the remake of Clash of the Titans, and the other is something very cool-sounding called Lords of War. And now it looks like we might have a third entry in the chariot sweepstakes. (Or four if you include the new Argonauts project!)

Details are sketchy at this point, but Variety indicates that writer-director Sheldon Lettich has been tapped by producer Alexander Nevsky to get to work on Hercules: The Beginning. I assume the "snake in the crib" story will be included, considering that we're starting at "The Beginning." (I further assume that a subtitle like "The Beginning" indicates a plan for sequels...)

Mr. Lettich is no stranger to the action section: He recently penned Rambo 4 and he's responsible for no less than FIVE Jean-Claude Van Damme movies! Five! Including the one where there's TWO Van Dammes!

Somehwere, Kevin Sorbo is waiting for his phone to ring.

Movie tickets were a tough sell for labor day weekend, as Babylon A.D and Traitor were the only two of last week's four new releases to finish in the top five. Disaster Movie took seventh place and College took fifteenth, allowing Tropic Thunder to hold the number one spot for a third week. Here's the top five:

1. Tropic Thunder: $11.5 million
2. Babylon A.D.: $9.4 million
3. The Dark Knight: $8.6 million
4. The House Bunny: $8.3 million
5. Traitor: $7.8 million

The summer movie season is over and Hollywood is pausing to breath before moving on. We've only got one wide release this weekend.

Bangkok Dangerous:
What's It All About: Directors Oxide Pang Chun and Danny Pang remake their own 1999 Thai film. Nicolas Cage stars as a hitman who travels to Bangkok for four assassinations.
Why It Might Do Well: If you're jonesing for a new release, this is the only act in town.
Why It Might Not Do Well: One might assume that dumping a movie on the weekend after Labor Day represents a vote of no confidence from the studio.
Number of Theaters: 2,500
Prediction: $14 million.