"One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble..."
-Murray Head

Don't ask me what happened to the real Nicolas Cage, because I don't know where he is.

I don't know what happened to the man who left Las Vegas, or the man who made Donald Kaufman into such an endearing figment of imagination, or the man who stole diapers as he stole hearts. All I've seen of late is a face, a name, a profile, a character, the artist formerly known as Nic Cage, an entity on auto-pilot and damn near self-parody that knows what he looks like and sounds like and makes do with that alone.

In Bangkok Dangerous, a remake by the Pang Brothers of their own 1999 thriller, Cage-Or-Something-Like-Him plays an assassin, perhaps the most laconic one this side of Forest Whitaker in '99's Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai, and he is so reliably aloof throughout, so divorced from the proceedings that it almost becomes its own form of entertainment... which is certainly helpful once genuine entertainment refuses to show up to any other degree.

Look, I don't want to make it sound like an either/or thing. You can see wide-release films AND art-house indies. I'm just saying that on this particular weekend, the only wide release is something starring Nicolas Cage in a mullet, and it wasn't screened for critics. So if it were an either/or thing, this would be a good time to become an art-house fanatic, and the Indie Spotlight is here to let you know what your options are.
Seven films are opening in limited release today: August Evening, Everybody Wants to Be Italian, Mister Foe, Ping Pong Playa, Save Me, A Secret, and Surfer, Dude. Here's the scoop on each of them.

Everybody Wants to Be Italian
What it is: A romantic comedy about a man and woman who both pretend to be Italian because they think the other is. OK, maybe this doesn't actually sound any better than the Nicolas Cage/mullet thing.
What they're saying: At Rotten Tomatoes, all of the reviews so far are giving it a big ol' kick in the meatballs.
Where it's playing: A few dozen theaters all over New York, New Jersey, Philadelphia, and ... Salt Lake City? Well, OK.
More info: The official site has a handy list of theaters where it's playing.

Ping Pong Playa
What it is: A light, clean comedy about an Asian-American kid who has to step in when his family's ping pong championship is threatened.
What they're saying: Cinematical's Monika Bartyzel found it simply adorable last year at Toronto, saying it's predictable but charming. The reviews at Rotten Tomatoes are mixed so far -- it's either sweet and likable, or an annoying Napoleon Dynamite retread.
Where it's playing: New York City, plus the California cities of San Francisco, Alhambra, Berkeley, Glendale, Hollywood, Irvine, and San Jose.
More info: The official site has upcoming playdates, too.

Where else would you expect to see the world premiere of a comedy in which Matthew McConaughey is shirtless for the entire film? It had to be Austin. Instead of the traditional red carpet, the stars of Surfer, Dude strolled down a green carpet in 90-plus-degree weather last night, as part of a benefit screening for Austin Film Society. McConaughey (who kept his shirt on the entire time, sadly) was joined by a half-dozen of his co-stars, including Woody Harrelson, as well as director/co-writer S.R. Bindler. Bindler's previous film, the documentary Hands on a Hardbody, played at the Dobie in Austin for more than a year back in the late 1990s. Even McConaughey's parents were on the green carpet, although I don't think they appear in the R-rated comedy. The only disappointment was that Willie Nelson, who also has a role in Surfer, Dude, wasn't around.

After the jump, I've included a photo of Surfer, Dude actresses Alexie Gilmore and K.D. Aubert from last night's premiere. Out and About, the Austin American-Statesman's social/entertainment blog, has posted more photos from the green-carpet event as well as a short and light-hearted review. Surfer, Dude is opening on Friday in limited release -- including Austin -- and then will hit more cities on September 12. The film's distributor is Anchor Bay, primarily a DVD distribution company, but in the past year or so the company's started giving its movies a small theatrical release before the DVD rollout.

In advance of its release last week, Disaster Movie was slammed for the insensitivy of its release date -- on the third anniversary of one of the worst natural disasters in history. (Hurricane Gustav narrowly avoided adding injury to insult.) Probably for a variety of reasons, audiences stayed away in droves, as Eugene noted. Now Bangkok Dangerous, the only wide release scheduled for this week, finds itself overtaken by current events. What else do the two apparent stinkers have in common? Lionsgate, their US distributor.

Lionsgate must pride itself on its highly-targeted slate being critic-proof, since it maximizes profits by skipping most advance screenings for critics and relying entirely on a blitkreig of advertising to fill theaters on opening weekend before word of mouth can spread. In fact, they informed publications some time ago that no advance press screenings for Bangkok Dangerous would be held. As Josh Tyler of Cinema Blend commented when reporting on the notice: "Not screened for the press almost always means the movie is so bad even the people who made it know the film is awful."

Cinematical will post a review later this week, after it opens. But advance word -- and current events -- make the movie sound like another disaster for Lionsgate.

The Promotion
After Dane Cook's Employee of the Month ripped out our interest in office-led comedies and stomped on it, The Promotion was a welcome breath of fresh air that has become a comedic emblem over here at Cinematical. It's graced a top films of 2008 list, popped up in a few fan rants, and has been part of a lot of multimedia. And now, after a modest release, the comedy is on DVD.

Seann William Scott and John C. Reilly play supermarket workers who vie for the same management position in a new store. Scott is told that he's a shoo-in for the gig, which will be nestled near his neighborhood, while Reilly is a new hire straight out of Quebec who is eager for the position. They fall into an insane battle of one-upmanship. In Scott's review, he said: "I just watched it with a jam-packed house at SXSW -- and these folks were laughing like nitrous oxide had just been pumped into the air ducts."

The disc features deleted scenes, a commentary with writer/director Steven Conrad and producers Jessika Borsiczky Goyer and Steven A. Jones, a making-off featurette, promotional webisodes, and finally, outtakes.

Check out Scott's Review | Buy the DVD

The most exciting news from Labor Day weekend at the box-office -- traditionally a slow period -- is that America seems to have caught on to the scam that Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer have been running for... what is it now? Almost three years? (I'm not counting the Scary Movie franchise, which always retained some redeeming value despite their idiocy.) Anyway, their latest travesty, Disaster Movie, opened to $6.9 million over four days, just over a third of the (nearly identical to each other) first three-day weekends for Date Movie, Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. Could that be the end of that?

Not that any of Disaster Movie's competitors did spectacularly better. The strongest of them -- the poorly-reviewed sci-fi flick Babylon A.D. -- only managed second place and a $12 million four-day. Don Cheadle's Traitor came in fifth with $10 million, which I actually think is robust for an barely-marketed film opening on just over 2,000 screens. College crashed and burned, landing outside the top 10 with $2.6 million. The best explanation is that there simply wasn't any reason to see it.

The holdovers did well. Mamma Mia!, now in its seventh weekend of release, continues to lurk in the bottom half of the top 10; its take actually grew compared to last weekend, even if you use the 3-day numbers. It's up to $133 million. The Dark Knight barely lost steam, going from fourth place to third and breaking the $500 million threshold. Vicky Cristina Barcelona also continues to do very well on under 700 screens. And of course, Tropic Thunder managed a third weekend atop the charts, leapfrogging past Pineapple Express.

The full estimates after the jump.

Flash of Genius is a conventional crowdpleaser but not, I'm pleased to report, a shameless one. Chronicling the true story of a college professor's fight to reclaim his invention – the intermittent windshield wiper – from the car company that stole it, the film does many of the things you'd expect, but it may also surprise you. Don't let its Telluride placement fool you: this is a staunchly mainstream, unchallenging film, the sort of underdog-vs.-corporate-behemoth story you've seen time and again. But it's a decent rendition, hitting the right notes without insulting our intelligence.

Now, the intermittent windshield wiper is not exactly the light bulb. If you're not familiar with the term, the wiper is "intermittent" in the sense that it can pause between wipes – a problem that apparently puzzled engineers at all the major car companies until Kearns cracked it the late 60s. But part of what's nifty about the film is its ability to create suspense and curiosity around something so seemingly mundane. Kearns' first demo of his device to Ford is exciting in a very goofy way, but exciting nonetheless.

You may recall that on the very weekend of its theatrical release, The Dark Knight rocketed to the top of the Internet Movie Database's user-voted Top 250 movies, with an average rating of 9.5 out of 10 after more than 47,000 votes. Observers marveled at how quickly this happened, noting that the previous #1 film, The Godfather, had held its spot for a decade.

Now an event nearly as miraculous has occurred: After only a day and a half in theaters, Disaster Movie (reviewed for Cinematical by Sir William of Goss) has already climbed to the top of IMDb's Bottom 100 list, with an average score of 1.3 out of 10. It has received more than 4,000 votes so far, 3,500 of those (including my own) being 1's, which is as low as the scale goes. About 280 people have given it a perfect 10, too, but those must be studio shills and pranksters. You get some of those in every crowd.

IMDb's Bottom 100 changes more often than the Top 250 does. Paris Hilton's The Hottie and the Nottie was #1 for a while earlier this year, and Bratz, Who's Your Caddy?, and something called Ben & Arthur (now the #2 film) have all been champions at various times. While the Top 250 only counts scores from "regular voters" (still not sure what that means) and requires that at least 1,300 votes be cast, the Bottom 100 takes all scores from everyone, and there's no minimum vote requirement. Many of the titles on the Bottom 100 are obscure, foreign, and/or straight-to-video features. I guess ranking terrible movies isn't quite as scientific or important as ranking great ones.

Hey, everybody, it's a Labor Day clearance sale! We gotta get rid of these leftover summer movies before the fall models come in! Quick, anybody in the market for a rip-off of Superbad? All it's missing are the likable characters and the good performances! Oh, and the comedy. The comedy fell off in the warehouse. But hey, it's got boobs! That's worth something, right? Anyone? Hello?

You might guess that a film with the uninspired title of College would be lame and derivative, and you'd be right. This laugh-free debacle is the story of three high school seniors who visit a university for a "preview" weekend in the hopes of learning more about the campus, but mostly in the hopes of participating in the legendary college parties. The normal kid is Kevin (Drake Bell), whose girlfriend has just broken up with him. He has a fat, vulgar, slobby best friend named Carter (Andrew Caldwell), and the trio is completed by McLovin -- I'm sorry, Morris (Kevin Covais), a nerdy, bespectacled wimp who looks about 14.

These three arrive at Fieldmont University (FU, get it?) to find that the dorm room they'd been scheduled to stay in is unavailable due to its occupant being a chronic masturbator. (The film makes this even less funny than it sounds.) So instead they try their chances at Beta Phi Tau, where the bastard frat president (pardon the redundancy), Teague (Nick Zano), agrees to let them stay in the basement for the weekend. His motivation for this is that he and his buddies want to torment them. The kids are willing to endure it because it means they can go to frat parties and scam on hot college chicks.

It's so heartwarming to see rival studios playing nice with each other, even if it's only for purely financial reasons. It's especially good when the result of their cooperation is that a film by Danny Boyle (pictured) will get the theatrical release it deserves.

Slumdog Millionaire, about a Mumbai street kid who strikes it rich on an Indian game show before having his knowledge called into question, will premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival next week. And now it'll hit multiplexes, too, on Nov. 28, thanks to a deal hammered out this week between Fox Searchlight and Warner Bros.

The film was originally part of Warner Independent Pictures' slate. But that division got shut down earlier this year, and Warner Bros. was left to deal with its leftover movies. It's like Warner Independent was a slightly irresponsible young adult, and Slumdog Millionaire was one of its children. Then Warner Independent died penniless in the gutter, and the child's grandmother, Warner Bros., being the only living relative, got custody. And Nana Warner Bros. loves the kid, thinks it's a great movie that people will enjoy, but ol' WB is on a fixed income and can't really support it. WB has kids of its own still living at home, for crying out loud.

So WB sidled up to Fox Searchlight, the dashing playboy son of billionaire Twentieth Century Fox, and struck up a relationship that involves Fox Searchlight paying for the film's marketing and distribution. Nobody has any illusions about this arrangement -- there's certainly no romance involved -- and they all live happily ever after. I just hope Fox Searchlight's dad doesn't find out, considering mean old Twentieth Century Fox is busy suing Warner Bros. over Watchmen. It's a pretty thorny situation, but hey, you gotta do what's best for the kids. It takes a village, right?

The last weekend of the summer means the multiplexes will be crammed with Hollywood's leftover products, most of them rolled out without being screened for critics (never a good sign). But don't despair! The Indie Spotlight is here to fill you in on the limited-release, art-house films opening this weekend, and if they're not playing where you live, you can keep an eye out for when they do arrive. See, it gives you something to look forward to!

The six films opening today are, in alphabetical order: Ballet Shoes, I Served the King of England, My Mexican Shivah, Sukiyaki Western Django, Year of the Fish, and Young People F***ing. In a slightly more subjective order, here's the scoop on each of them.

Sukiyaki Western Django
What it is: A comedic Japanese tribute to the spaghetti Westerns, featuring Quentin Tarantino in a small role and directed by the twisted Takashi Miike.
What they're saying: The reviews are about evenly split at Rotten Tomatoes. Some say it's a one-joke movie that's all style and no substance; others say the sheer insanity of it makes it entertaining.
Where it's playing: New York City (Landmark Sunshine Cinema). Opens in L.A. on Sept. 12.
Official site: Taste the sukiyaki.

I Served the King of England
What it is: A comedy/drama about a man working at a fancy Prague hotel under the Nazis and then under the communists. It was the Czech Republic's official Oscar entry this year, though it didn't wind up getting nominated.
What they're saying: Every single review at Rotten Tomatoes is positive ("darkly humorous," "intelligent," "witty") -- every single review except for one, that is, by Jeffrey M. Anderson, who is also one of Cinematical's finest writers. Why you gotta be different, Jeff?
Where it's playing: New York City (Lincoln Plaza Cinemas, Quad Cinemas), Los Angeles (Laemmle Royal, Regency South Coast Village in Costa Mesa, Laemmle Playhouse 7 in Pasadena), San Francisco (Embarcadero Center Cinemas).
Official site: It's in English!

By chance, two Takashi Miike movies, Dead or Alive and Audition, opened in my town with in a week of one another in 2001. It was pretty eye opening seeing the huge difference between them, the speedy carnage of the former and the slow suspense of the latter, and I became an instant fan. Since then I've managed to track down just six more Miike movies, and in that same time he has made over forty (including videos and TV shows). The speed of his production fits perfectly with the personality of his movies. They're often nonsensical; I couldn't make heads or tails of two of his more recent pictures, Gozu and The Great Yokai War. And they're very definitely energetic, verging on crazy. He reminds me of the great German director Rainer Werner Fassbinder, who cranked out over 40 movies and TV shows in less than 15 years and died at the age of 37. Miike is now 48 and one wonders how much longer he can keep going before he combusts.

Miike's new movie, Sukiyaki Western Django, finds him making a slight change of pace. No, the movie is still crazy and fast and nearly unintelligible, but he has stopped for a moment to consider the work of other filmmakers. The movie is a tribute to Spaghetti Westerns, and especially Sergio Leone's A Fistful of Dollars (1964), which in turn was based on Akira Kurosawa's Yojimbo (1961). Remember Bono's taunt at the beginning of U2's cover version of "Helter Skelter"? ("This song Charles Manson stole from the Beatles. We're stealing it back.") This movie feels as if Miike is doing some stealing back of his own.

Last year was great for American independent cinema; this year, not so much. The lineup for the 35th annual Telluride Film Festival has been announced, and only two U.S. filmmakers made the cut -- Paul Schrader (Adam Resurrected) and Tim Disney (American Violet). In addition, David Fincher will be there to screen his cut of Zodiac and to accept the festival's Silver Medallion.

According to Michael Jones at Variety's festival blog, the scarcity of U.S. films is simply the result of not very many homegrown films being submitted. Some likely candidates, like Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler and the Coens' Burn After Reading, chose to focus on other festivals. Other contenders, like Revolutionary Road, Milk, and W., aren't done yet. The writers' strike and the big studios' ongoing financial problems with their art house divisions also contributed to the dearth of American product.

It looks like a fantastic foreign lineup, though, with 22 films from 14 different countries. You can see the full list here (and there might be some late additions), but some of the highlights include: Mike Leigh's Happy-Go-Lucky (U.K.), Philippe Claudel's I've Loved You So Long (France), Kim Ji-Woon's The Good, the Bad and the Weird (South Korea), and Ari Folman's animated Waltz with Bashir (Israel).

The Telluride fest takes place over Labor Day Weekend every year in the small mountain town in southwestern Colorado. To maintain its reputation as a down-to-earth, unglamorous, it's-all-about-the-movies festival, the organizers don't announce the lineup until the last minute, thus avoiding most of the hype and celebrity-gawking that plagues Sundance. Cinematical's Kim Voynar is there, so watch for her coverage over the weekend.

Team Picture trailer


Just last week I received the latest release from the critic-led Benten Films -- Kentucker Audley's mumblecore film Team Picture, which comes out on DVD today. Imagine a Slacker sort of world with everyday life and a collection of varied people, but without the rolling conversation of UFOs and Like a Virgin pap smears.

Audley's style is to show a more realistic life without the allure of stars or irresistably charismatic actors. He leads the film as a slacker musician who really encapsulates the ideas of slackerdom in every area of life -- indifferent to his girlfriend's unhappiness, the need for a future path, and even the quirks of his roommate. While not for moviegoers looking for a fast-paced, tightly written story, Team Picture does have some charm as a sort of dead-pan voyeuristic look into modern slackers. Check out the video above to see what I mean.

The DVD has a commentary, a new epilogue, a short film, music performances, deleted scenes, trailer, and an essay by Nick Dawson.

I think this'll be my last Outlander post for a while; you're probably sick of hearing about it by now. But I think I owe you this one as a matter of follow-through. You see, the buzz on the internets is that, as feared, the Weinstein Company is sending the nearly $50 million dollar Vikings-fight-aliens adventure film to direct-to-DVD oblivion.

The source of this semi-substantiated rumor is that a couple of online DVD retailers, such as Movies Unlimited and Amazon have listed a November 18th, 2008 release date for the movie, with Movies Unlimited now accepting pre-orders. No theatrical release date was ever announced, and needless to say, if the DVD release date is accurate, it rules out any sort of theatrical appearance.

I guess I'm a little surprised at the dump, simply because the movie's so darn expensive. But it's the Weinsteins, theatrical releases themselves cost a lot of money, and this was more of a cult item from the start anyway. In any case, November is certainly sooner than I expected to be able to see the thing.

Important to note that there's no official confirmation from the distributor on the DVD release, so this could all be one big mistake. But it doesn't look good.

[via SlashFilm]